"I'd gently suggest that you're not helpless against the changing tide. You've noticed a pattern that seems to be in conflict with your hopes and expectations for the holiday. So, for next year, you have the opportunity to talk about it with your daughters in advance and find a solution that makes everyone happy. Every holiday meal is, of course, about the food, but its primary purpose is togetherness as a family."
"As people change, and family structures change, we have the power to change what that togetherness looks like and how it happens. It's important for you to sit at a table with your daughters and share a meal. From your letter, it's also important to extend hospitality to them in the form of leftovers. Now that the dust of the holidays has settled, talk to them about what's important to you and what's important to them."
Younger relatives attending multiple Friendsgiving events reduced the significance of a traditional Thanksgiving, with some arriving late and eating only leftovers. Hosts felt deprioritized and were unable to offer customary hospitality because guests' refrigerators and freezers were already full. The pattern indicates a potential shift in holiday habits toward more frequent, distributed celebrations. The recommended response is proactive communication and mutual planning: discuss expectations and priorities in advance, prioritize shared time over the exact menu, adapt traditions where needed, and create a plan that balances togetherness, hospitality, and changing family schedules.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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