"I had a bad experience a few months ago where I feel like I was sexually assaulted. I don't want to get into the details of it as it's too upsetting, but I am struggling with blaming myself. I didn't fight back, I just let it happen. I can't help feeling that I should have fought back and keep reliving the experience to see where I should have run away or pushed him off me."
"I don't feel like I can report it because of this, as I don't think I would be believed. I don't think I could handle being told that it was my fault as I already feel like that. It would destroy me. I haven't seen this person since and we aren't in the same location so I hope I never have to see them again. I don't go out anymore, and my friends are worried about me but I can't tell them what happened. I have just told them I had Covid and I'm still recovering from it, but I can't use that excuse forever."
A person reports feeling sexually assaulted months earlier and avoids describing details because they are too upsetting. The person experiences pervasive self-blame for not fighting back, repeatedly relives the event imagining ways to have escaped, and fears reporting because of not being believed or being blamed. The person has not seen the alleged perpetrator, has withdrawn from social activities, and is using a COVID recovery explanation to friends. Upcoming holiday events increase anxiety and desire to stay in bed. A supportive professional response expresses sorrow for the harm and states that help is available for recovery.
Read at Irish Independent
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