"I met Donny 18 months ago. For a while, we were both happy. Then suddenly, every Friday, Donny would make some excuse, smoke a cigarette and go to the bar across the street. Afterward, he would show up here drunk, and we would argue. When Donny was sober, he was a great guy, but every weekend he disappeared. Although I tried every day to help him, the drinking evolved into drugs. A few months ago, he came over to visit."
"The next morning when I went to wake him up, Donny had died! I called 911 and tried CPR. There was nothing they could do. He had overdosed. I'm now living with guilt. If only I had tried to wake him earlier, maybe he could have been saved. I'm taking medication, but I am stuck. I stay home most of the time. I want to move forward but can't seem to do it. Any advice?"
"Donny didn't die because of anything you did or didn't do. His dealer gave him a drug that was more powerful than he could tolerate, and he took it. In fact, if you hadn't invited him in, he probably would have died on the street somewhere. Because you cannot move past the guilt you have inflicted upon yourself, and the medication you are taking isn't doing the job, start talking with a mental health professional who can help you through."
I met Donny 18 months ago and we were happy until he began disappearing every Friday to drink at a bar, then returning drunk and causing arguments. His drinking progressed into drug use, and during a visit he appeared to take something and later overdosed; CPR and emergency care could not revive him. Intense guilt followed, and medication has not resolved the inability to leave home or move forward. Professional mental health counseling is advised to address the guilt and grief. A separate letter describes a mother-in-law who is obsessively involved with her only grandchild, pressuring visits and voicing intrusive, critical opinions.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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