"Anxious in my skin when I attempt to talk or be in a crowded room...in a room with more than a hand full of people. I used to be filled with energy to give myself to the cause but now I cant seem to sort and bag apples in a room filled with a cacophony of muffled conversation and that ringing in my ears."
"Those apples were for hungry children but I walked away, too overwhelmed by existing. How can I be this person in my head? The one who is ready to fight against this madness by showing that empathy is possible. I want to share this wealth of love I feel in my heart but am paralyzed by perception. I'm told I have to help myself before I can help others. I have to love myself to love anyone else."
"Its been years and that hasn't helped me to be within this society. It has only helped me to be alone where a feel comfort and love for myself and who I truly am. I wish I lived in a society that embraced empathy and love instead of shunning these parts. Judgement, ridicule and a lack of acceptance and understanding are how we got this violent horrible world. Try being nice to the freaks and see the world that comes from it"
A person experiences intense anxiety and sensory overload in crowded rooms, which prevents verbal participation and cooperative tasks. Former motivation to help others has evaporated, making basic volunteer tasks like sorting apples impossible amid muffled conversations and ringing ears. Deep empathy and a desire to give love remain, but perception-related paralysis blocks action. Efforts at self-help and self-love have produced personal comfort and solitude rather than social integration. The person longs for a society that embraces empathy and warns that judgment, ridicule, and lack of acceptance contribute to violence, urging kindness toward marginalized people.
Read at Portland Mercury
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