"I was hunched over the kitchen table, tracking ounces on a laminated chart with a dry-erase marker, crying so hard I couldn't see the numbers. It was 2:40 a.m. My nipples were bleeding. Lily was screaming. And the book said she should be sleeping. "Stretch feeds to four hours," it said. "Teach her to self-soothe." So I shushed. I swaddled. I walked in circles around our dark apartment, whispering affirmations I didn't believe."
"The book, a bestselling baby sleep manual, promised my daughter would sleep through the night by 12 weeks. It also promised I would feel better if I followed the plan. Instead, by week eight, I was suicidal. From my journal: "I have no idea what I'm doing. My nipples are raw and cracking. Every cry means one less minute of sleep. I love her. And I dread her at the same time.""
A mother followed a bestselling sleep-training method that promised sleep by 12 weeks and relief if she adhered to the plan. The method instructed stretched feeds and self-soothing techniques that did not work for her infant. The mother experienced physical injury, overwhelming exhaustion, intense guilt, and suicidal thoughts by week eight. Framing parents as the problem when routines fail amplifies shame. Guilt and shame in the early postpartum period are strong predictors of anxiety and depression. Rigid routines around infant sleep can increase mental-health risk by promoting self-blame rather than addressing mismatched methods or infant needs.
Read at Psychology Today
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