What to Expect When You're Expecting to Cry Forever

"I was a dead man walking and could barely read through my tears. Everything felt so empty and meaningless, especially words. But now that Rob's been gone for more than a few years, I thought it might be time to revisit the words in that grief guide and add some 20/20 hindsight of my own."

"It takes a lifetime for healing to happen, but you need to work at it, because it doesn't happen all by itself. The pain and crushing parts are certainly true, and both abate eventually. But healing requires active engagement rather than passive acceptance of time's passage."

A parent who lost their child Rob to suicide describes their initial search for help and discovery of grief support resources. Initially dismissing a grief guide as generic optimism, they later recognized its value after years of processing their loss. The author reflects on how grief operates differently than expected—it arrives as a crushing blow but gradually diminishes over time. However, healing requires active engagement rather than passive waiting. The author revises conventional grief wisdom to emphasize that recovery is a lifetime journey demanding continuous effort, not a linear process with a defined endpoint. Words and explanations initially felt meaningless during acute grief, but perspective and hindsight eventually allowed for deeper understanding of the grief process.

Read at Psychology Today