"I think when it comes to problems - just, you know, the ordinary, annoying problems that fill so much of life - we make things a lot worse for ourselves because we have a sort of dual objection to them, right? So on the one hand, when you're dealing with a problem, there's whatever the problem is, and it's something you've got to grapple with."
"But there's also this background sense, a lot of the time, that we somehow shouldn't be facing problems at all. That we thought we would have got to the stage in our lives by now where we didn't have to deal with problems. That we could do our jobs really well if only there weren't all these problems. Or that family life would be so great if only we didn't have to deal with these problems."
People often worsen ordinary problems by combining the problem itself with a background indignation that there should be no problems. This indignation imagines a stage of life or work without obstacles, and that better performance or family life would follow in the absence of problems. A more constructive stance involves developing a taste for problems by recognizing that the demand for a problem-free life is absurd. Problems arise where limited capacities meet reality, creating tasks to address. Such challenges are closely linked to meaningful activity; removing problems risks losing responsiveness or 'resonance' in life.
Read at Big Think
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