Setting Boundaries in Your Romantic Relationship

"Relationships are regulated by rules and expectations about how to act, which define what is expected and appropriate behavior within the relationship. Rules, or boundaries, are believed to serve several functions, including regulating behavior and facilitating trust and cohesion in the relationship."

"Relationship research has shown that there are implicit and explicit rules in romantic relationships as well as a hierarchy of boundaries, where some boundaries are given more importance. For example, research participants generally report infidelity as a more serious boundary violation, whereas not respecting a boundary related to time spent on hobbies was less serious."

"Your boundaries are what you need to feel safe, secure, and comfortable in your relationship, and how you need your partner to behave in the relationship. Think about times you felt most safe and comfortable in your relationship, and times you felt the least safe and comfortable."

Boundaries function as rules and expectations that define appropriate behavior in romantic relationships. Research shows relationships contain both implicit and explicit boundaries organized in a hierarchy, where violations vary in severity—infidelity considered more serious than hobby-time disputes. Signs indicating boundary adjustment is needed include relationship imbalance between autonomy and dependence, loss of personal identity, and increased irritability or resentment. Setting boundaries requires identifying personal needs for safety and security by reflecting on moments of comfort and discomfort with your partner. Establishing clear boundaries facilitates trust and security, which reciprocally makes implementing and respecting boundaries easier.

Read at Psychology Today