We Are Raising Three Kids in New York City. We Don't Need Your Pity!

"Living in New York City is super expensive. This is true. Having three kids is super expensive. This is also true. And when you look closely at the overlapping part of this Venn diagram, you get the perfect recipe for Thursday's article in the New York Times about people living both of these experiences at the same time. And the takeaway, for those nonwealthy parents who insist on doing both? Unfortunately, you're doomed to some limited choices."

"The nugget at the core of this Times article is this data point: Families with three or more children are less and less common in the city, with the total number of such families dropping 17 percent in the past decade. Housing is too expensive (yes). Day care is too expensive (yes). And what do you get, at the end of the day? According to those middle-class and upper-middle-class New Yorkers the Times picked to be interviewed here, you're living in a tiny apartment."

"My point is not to say that it's easy to raise three kids in the city. But I take issue with this portrayal of a big family stretched to the brink as a uniquely New York way of life. Living here as a not-megawealthy family of five can still be awesome, even if it feels as if it takes all you've got to keep your head above water."

New York City carries very high living costs, and raising three children significantly increases household expenses. Families with three or more children have declined by 17 percent in the past decade. High housing prices and unaffordable day care drive families into small apartments and limited lifestyles. Many middle-class and upper-middle-class parents report hand-me-down clothing, cargo bikes, and park birthday parties instead of paid venues. Faced with trade-offs, families choose between staying cramped in the city or leaving for more space and income. Some families manage full-time work, three children, and city living while finding moments of joy despite constant strain.

Read at Slate Magazine