"Neither my husband nor I wanted to have a kid. We've been together for 14 years and married for seven. We didn't feel the urge or the need to have a kid. The drive wasn't there, but in my culture, it's unacceptable or even considered a sin not to have kids. My parents and my in-laws pressured us, and I admit that I conformed to the social norm."
"Even today, I still don't feel the overwhelming maternal love that people always talk about. All I feel is responsibility. We've spent so many sleepless nights thinking to ourselves, 'This is our decision. Our son isn't the one to blame. We have to carry on.' People keep telling me that 'things will get better,' 'you'll love your child more than yourself,' 'kids are the best gifts,' etc., but the worst part is, even when things are good, I still don't feel like this 'good time' is worth all my effort, tiredness, and financial drain."
"My son is a good kid. I had an easy pregnancy with no morning sickness, my husband is caring and loving - but if we could turn back time, we would decide not to have a kid. Parenthood is hard and expensive."
A woman and her husband, together for 14 years and married for seven, never desired children but faced intense cultural and familial pressure to have a child, which they eventually succumbed to. Despite their son being well-behaved and their circumstances being relatively favorable, the mother experiences parenting primarily as a sense of responsibility rather than joy or overwhelming love. She acknowledges their decision to have a child was selfish and feels obligated to provide the best parenting possible. However, even during positive moments, she questions whether the rewards justify the exhaustion, financial burden, and lifestyle changes. She and her husband would choose differently if given the opportunity, viewing parenthood as fundamentally difficult and expensive.
#childfree-by-choice #cultural-pressure-and-parenthood #maternal-ambivalence #parenting-responsibility #life-satisfaction-and-regret
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