"My son married a lovely woman, Noelle, two years ago. They live a couple of hours away and have a 1-year-old son, my third grandchild. Noelle's parents live 10 miles from my home."
"This is a subject you should discuss with your son, who appears to be clueless or entirely ineffectual. Does he recognize what has been happening that his parents have been pushed entirely out of the picture? If the answer to that question is yes, perhaps he can shed some light on why. If the answer is no, tell him how this has made you feel. If you do, perhaps he will assert himself. Better late than never."
"We are not horrible people. There has never been any ugliness between any of us. I'm very hurt because they don't recognize me as a grandmother or any of us as part of the family. My son's father has never been allowed to meet the baby, and I don't think he's even met Noelle. I have asked my son and daughter-in-law to bring the baby, leave him for the day or even overnight so we can spend some time and get to know him, but it never happens."
A grandmother reports that her son married Noelle two years earlier and that Noelle and their one-year-old son visit Noelle's nearby parents nearly every weekend but never visit the grandmother. The grandmother has not seen them since the baby's birthday five months ago and says her daughter was not invited to the party. The grandmother feels hurt and excluded, reports no prior conflict, and says the baby's father has never met the child. The grandmother asked the couple to bring or leave the baby so family can bond, without success. A columnist advises the grandmother to speak with her son, ask whether he recognizes the exclusion, express her feelings, and encourage him to assert himself. A widower reports that his wife died a year earlier after a five-year battle with stage-4 breast cancer; he continues household chores, cares for two cats, and is beginning to consider online dating despite ongoing grief.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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