"Graham believes in spanking, while I am staunchly against it. My husband grew up in a household with three brothers, and according to him, "good old-fashioned ass whippings" were the only thing that prevented the household from descending into chaos. My younger brother and I grew up with an alcoholic father who would beat us with anything he could get his hands on if we so much as looked at him cross-eyed, and I will NOT have any child of mine subjected to corporal punishment."
"A trained professional should be staunchly against physical discipline and may help you to further convince your husband of its dangers. You may want to require that your husband attend counseling with you, or on his own, before you have children together. Let him know that corporal punishment is not up for negotiation and that you can't have a child with him until you feel confident that he is committed to keeping his hands off of them."
Graham supports spanking while his partner, shaped by childhood physical abuse, adamantly rejects any corporal punishment for their future children. Graham asserts he will not spank but admits humans make mistakes, creating fear his promise may be broken. A trained professional should oppose physical discipline and can help persuade Graham of its harms. Require Graham to attend counseling, jointly or alone, before becoming parents. Make clear that corporal punishment is nonnegotiable and that parenthood depends on a sustained commitment to never strike a child. Recognize that normalized violence in upbringing increases the risk of repeating abusive behavior without deep unlearning.
Read at Slate Magazine
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