"He's a brilliant musician, it's his calling-a true artist. He is not a commercial musician and doesn't have a path to making money with his music and isn't interested in one, and I'm not interested in that for him either. Before we were together, he worked the most minimal amount he had to in order to live and create. We met and fell in love quickly."
"Needless to say, I'm the breadwinner. Luckily, I like my work, I like making money, and I like supporting my husband. We have a really good marriage, and it works for us. However: Basically everyone I know thinks my husband is a deadbeat and that I'm being taken advantage of. Even people who love my husband! They think it's outrageous that he doesn't make any money. I joke that he's a personality hire, and I feel like I'm getting my money's worth."
"But now we're having a baby. We talked a lot before making this decision, and we will have a lot of childcare help-it's important to both of us that we still have a lot of time for our work. I can afford this. But many friends and family and my co-workers are assuming that my husband will be a "stay-at-home dad" who is "finally earning his keep." Everyone is offended when I refute that and say we will have a nanny."
A couple has been together ten years, and the husband is a noncommercial, brilliant musician who prioritizes art over income. He worked minimally before the relationship and was encouraged to quit his job once his partner earned enough to support both. The partner is the household breadwinner, enjoys work, and willingly supports the husband's creative life. Friends, family, and coworkers often view the husband as a deadbeat and believe the partner is being taken advantage of. The couple is expecting a baby and plans to hire a nanny and use childcare so both parents can continue working. The partner worries that others' opinions will lead their child to see the father as mooching.
Read at Slate Magazine
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