"On the surface, my own childhood certainly looked idyllic. My dad worked, and my mom stayed home. I did well in school. I was involved. If I expressed interest in an activity, my mom signed me up. She schlepped me around town, to games and competitions, to art classes and orchestra practices. I stood out academically; my report cards always read "a pleasure to have in class." I was a rule follower by nature, seemingly clinging to the order and structure that school offered me."
"At home, I remember raised voices and arguments being the norm. I often busied myself with schoolwork and activities to avoid the chaos of home. It was a win-win. The adults in my life could point to my accomplishments as a sign of their success, and I could stay occupied in spaces that offered structure, praise for my efforts, and refuge from the discomfort that I remember feeling at home."
Ending contact with a mother six years earlier changed parental behavior and improved the quality of maternal care toward two sons aged 8 and 10. The mother notes that her childhood appeared idyllic outwardly, with a stay-at-home parent, academic success, and many activities arranged by her mother. At home, raised voices and frequent arguments created chaos that led to emotional avoidance through achievement and structured activities. The mother consciously seeks to provide emotional support, foster healthy bonds, and offer a different, more secure childhood for her children. Childhood memories remain influential, prompting reflection and empathy alongside a commitment to break negative patterns.
Read at Business Insider
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