I Was a Rotten Teen Growing Up. Now My Kid Is Using It as Blackmail.

A parent should respond to a child’s rule-breaking by avoiding a simple “do as I say” message. The parent should explain that they made mistakes and describe what those mistakes cost, such as lost friends, opportunities, or trust. The goal is to help the child understand how avoiding similar behavior can prevent similar punishments. The parent should also address why the child feels “gotcha” pressure, especially when a grandparent shared past wrongdoing. A direct conversation should clarify what the parent did, why it was wrong, and what the child can do differently now. Punishments may differ across decades, so expectations should be updated accordingly.

"A lot of people will tell you to tell your son, "Do as I say and not as I do." And while that may be kind of true, I think it's important to get this point across, but in a different way. You want your son to know that you made mistakes, but that you are helping him avoid the same kinds of issues, which means he could also avoid the same kind of punishments you received."

"Reset the environment and discussion here. You got off on the wrong foot because it was your mom and not you who told him about the things you did at his age. That's why he feels like it's a "gotcha" and is trying to use that information against you to support what he's doing that he knows is wrong."

"Sit down with your son and talk to him honestly about what you did and what it cost you. Did you lose friends? Opportunities? Trust? What would you have done differently?"

"I would also be very open about how punishments have changed over the decades. While you might not have g"

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