A mother sent her younger daughter to full-time preschool at the same time her older daughter started kindergarten. The child adjusted easily, but the mother experienced a sudden wave of grief and sadness after drop-off. She questioned whether she had fully embraced the last three years, worried the second child received a different parenting experience, and longed for their solo time. Memories of repetitive yet joyful days surfaced alongside guilt about perceived differences between siblings. Reviewing photos and videos helped her see the beauty of that period and led to a realization to practice greater self-kindness.
But, oh, how I was wrong about how I'd feel. After dropping my younger daughter at preschool, I was shocked by how sad I felt Seeing that twinkle in her eyes and that beaming smile of hers did a real number on my heart that day. I was completely blindsided by my own big feelings - by that large wave of grief that crashed down on me.
At that moment, I found myself questioning whether I'd soaked up every moment I could with her over the last three years. I wondered if I gave her an equal parenting experience to that of her older sister. I found myself yearning for the good ol' days of just us two that had, at that very moment, ended so abruptly.
I revisited and saw the beauty of that time, locked up in a capsule in the form of photos and videos on my phone. While I dried my tears and buried myself in cozy blankets, interrogative questions, and spiraling thoughts, I scrolled through the artifacts of that stressful yet sacred time with my baby and my toddler, and I realized I needed to be kinder to myself - a lesson that I am constantly reinforcing with my girls.
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