The article shares insights from almost 10,000 comments on how parental behavior affects childrenâs attitudes towards achievement and communication. Various respondents recount personal experiences of feeling belittled or unheard by their parents, particularly in relation to success and personal struggles. Comments reflect a recurring theme where children feel inadequate due to high parental expectations or dismissive attitudes. This can lead to a lack of motivation and connection, highlighting the importance of supportive communication in parent-child relationships for healthier emotional development.
I remember the day I stopped trying at school. I got the top grade on a biology test, and it was a big win for me because I wasn't particularly talented at anything else, and I had some real competition in that class. I told my mum about it, and she just asked, 'Why didn't you get one hundred percent?' That took all enjoyment out of my victory. Instead of motivating me to do better, it made me wonder why I should even bother. Nothing I do will ever be good enough, so why waste my time?
Belittling their problems. I'm 26, and my mother STILL does this (she's a teacher with a martyr complex). I stopped trying to voice frustration with my own job because, 'Don't I know how hard teachers have it? SHE DOESN'T GET A RAISE EITHER!' Sometimes you just wanna talk to your mom as an adult and bond about how terrible work can be without it turning into a competition.
When they're winning an argument, it's a 'conversation.' When I'm winning an argument, it's 'back-talking.'
I think I was a reasonable kid right up until a narrative emerged in my family that I was selfish and difficult. After that, it didn't really matter what I did because the idea was out there. So anything I did would be mashed into that particular mold.
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