When Your Child Has a Glass-Half-Empty Mindset

"We sit down for dinner. Declan (5) whines, 'You didn't get me my milk!' Not, 'Thank you so much for this delicious meal you have made after a long workday, Mommy. Can I please have some milk?' We get to the playground, and he complains, 'You didn't bring the right pail!' We read three books at bedtime, he accuses, 'We didn't get to read my favorite book about the pandas (because he hadn't chosen it!) The whining is out of control and driving us mad."

"My son, Harry (7) is very attached to me and demanding of my attention, which leads to him getting a lot more of it than my other kids. Last night, when I told him a babysitter was coming, he pleaded for me not to go and accused, 'You care more about your friends than me!' This gets me in the gut and makes me feel guilty-like I'm rejecting and hurting him."

"Some kids, often those who are highly sensitive, process their experiences in the world through a deficit, half-glass-empty lens. It's a wiring issue, not a stance your child has chosen or that you have engendered in your child. They have a lower threshold for discomfort. When something doesn't happen the way they expect or desire, they have a hard time coping and often externalize blame."

Some children are wired to interpret experiences through a deficit, half-glass-empty lens and therefore have a lower threshold for discomfort. When expectations or desires are unmet, these children struggle to cope, externalize blame, and react as if wronged or deprived, often demanding apologies or compensation. Examples include persistent whining over small perceived slights and intense clinginess that turns into accusations of favoritism. Caregiver responses in those moments can either mitigate or exacerbate the child's negative mindset and reactions. Recognizing the wiring as innate rather than willful behavior helps caregivers set limits while attending to emotional needs.

Read at Psychology Today