"My mom even told me that one night, as my parents were officially empty nesters, he turned to her and said, "I thought girls were supposed to call home," which is a slight nod to how different (he thought) sons and daughters were when it comes to communication, noting that my brother, who went to college a few years before, never called home."
""I think once a week is plenty," Rubin responds, much to the shock and awe of Kim and her husband, Penn Holderness. "I think if you have a communicative child, that's wonderful," Rubin says before noting that when you do talk to your kids away at school, be sure to keep positive and not fall into what Rubin calls "interviewing for pain.""
A college student largely stopped communicating with parents after moving away to avoid homesickness and to immerse in a new environment. Parents reached out intermittently and sometimes worried about the lack of contact, with a father remarking that daughters are expected to call home more than sons. A commentator recommends aiming for weekly check-ins with college-aged children as a healthy communication goal. When conversations occur, focusing on positive topics and avoiding questions that solicit negative details prevents unnecessary unhappiness. Asking about roommate fights, bad food, or shared-bathroom problems exemplifies 'interviewing for pain.' Setting expectations and upbeat contact supports adjustment and the empty-nest transition.
Read at Scary Mommy
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