"In this episode, we get to meet Madison's dog, Karen. Karen? For a dog? What's she going to do? Call the police if you don't give her a treat? Then there are Austen's two new cats: one named Martini (cat name) and the other named Piper (human name). What is up with all of these people and their pets that have people names? Shep's dog is famously named Craig and Venita has a dog named Charles."
"Luckily, we have Whitner, who knows how to name a dog, Bacchus, who is rightfully named after a god and is a very good boy. But then there is Salley, who has a dog named Jeff. Jeff! That's not a dog, that's someone who hogs the pretzels at a dive bar. What is Salley going to name her chickens? Niki and Donna? (If you get that pairing, you are gay and middle-aged. Hey, Rodrigo.)"
"I think the reason I'm so harsh on Salley about this is that I was Salley for so many years. I never thought I was enough, that I always had to convince guys to like me, to show them that I was interested, that I would be a good partner and was into all the same things they were even when I wasn't. I put in all this work, and they still all fell in love with my friend Mark."
Pets receive human names across multiple examples: Madison's dog Karen, Austen's cats Martini and Piper, Shep's dog Craig, Venita's Charles, Bacchus, and Jeff. Salley orders a flat-pack chicken coop and assembles it in her backyard as a grand gesture aimed at attracting a man. Craig brings his assistant Jack to Charley's gallery to ask Charley out for oysters, illustrating reciprocal interest versus performative pursuit. Salley's behavior exemplifies trying too hard to win attention. A person confesses to having behaved like Salley for many years, describing persistent efforts to prove worth and align interests while men pursued someone else named Mark.
Read at Vulture
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