There's a specific kind of adult who apologizes for crying even when they're alone, and it isn't sensitivity, it's the residue of a childhood where emotion was something you were expected to clean up before anyone saw the mess - Silicon Canals

"The first full sentence that surfaces isn't about whatever set the tears off - it's sorry, sorry, I'm being ridiculous. An apology to an invisible audience."

"Most people assume this kind of apologising is a sensitivity issue, or a sign of low self-esteem, or the kind of thing a good therapist can talk you out of in a few sessions."

"There's a particular kind of household where feelings aren't treated as information about what a child needs. They're treated as an inconvenience to be tidied away."

"Psychologists have a word for the mechanism underneath this: emotional invalidation. Christopher Dennison defines it as the experience of having your perception of an event dismissed."

Many adults who grew up in environments where their feelings were dismissed tend to apologize when they cry, even when alone. This behavior stems from early childhood experiences where emotions were treated as inconveniences rather than valid expressions. As a result, individuals internalize the need to suppress their feelings to gain approval. This automatic apology reflects a split self, where one part feels emotions while another part supervises and invalidates them. Emotional invalidation is a key mechanism behind this behavior, leading to lifelong patterns of emotional suppression.

Read at Silicon Canals