How to Handle Difficult People at Work

"Whether they're colleagues, clients, or customers, you're sure to encounter difficult people at work. It might be someone who hinders productivity, rubs you the wrong way, makes you upset, or is simply annoying. When we encounter difficult people, we immediately form an explanation for why they are this way. We create these "stories" without conscious thought. Think about a difficult person with whom you work."

"Might their motivation be to look better in the eyes of management? Or to lessen a feeling of threat due to your relatively greater success or popularity? They may not like you, but dislike is usually not enough to motivate active attempts to harm you in some way. So, how might they benefit from their behavior? What is it that they might "get" from being difficult?"

"Whatever story you've created, it feels correct because it seems to explain your experience of this person. But here's a question: Have you ever thought about that person's motivations? A Different Way to Look at Difficult People Let's start with the example of someone who seems to have it out for you. Their motivation may seem to be to "block your success" or "make your life miserable." Well, those are goals. The motivation is the "why" behind them."

Difficult coworkers trigger immediate, automatic stories that explain their behavior and often attribute negative intent. Those explanations commonly assume personal flaws or deliberate harm. Considering alternative motivations offers non-personal explanations such as seeking managerial approval or reducing perceived threat from another's success. Imagining plausible motivations creates psychological distance and lowers stress. Understanding likely motives helps others respond strategically rather than reacting emotionally. Shifting from attributing malice to identifying potential benefits for the difficult person enables more constructive interactions and reduces the personal impact of challenging workplace behavior.

Read at Psychology Today