"There's no place like home to turn you right back into the person you were before thousands of dollars worth of therapy and all that "inner child work." Something about being in the same vicinity with your much older, but still likely very much the same parents, can remind you that you haven't changed all that much, either. Think you've outgrown the petty, catty arguments you used to have with your mom as a teenager? Nope. Turns out you haven't - you're right back in fighting mode. Think you've outgrown your avoidant attachment tendencies, only to find yourself stonewalling your parents anytime they try to go deeper? Way to revert to your old self. And welcome to the I've-regressed-back-at-home club."
""Our old roles and coping strategies were formed long before we had adult skills or confidence, so, even if we feel strong and grounded now in our adult lives, being back with our parents can pull us into those younger versions of ourselves," she said. Not because we are failing, Chappell Marsh said, "but because our body remembers how we used to seek closeness, avoid conflict, or stay safe in that environment.""
Returning to the family home commonly reactivates childhood roles and coping strategies formed before adult skills and confidence developed. Familiar environments and older parents can trigger attachment systems that make people revert to earlier versions of themselves. Adults may replay petty arguments, stonewall, or revert to avoidant behaviors despite therapeutic progress. Physiological stress responses can reduce access to rational thinking and increase emotion-driven reactions when emotional needs are dismissed. The nervous system can be especially sensitive in places linked to developmental trauma or chronic family conflict. These reactions are normal responses rooted in learned survival strategies rather than evidence of failure.
Read at HuffPost
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