"We've all heard apologies that ring hollow and others that sound genuine, but what makes the difference? New research suggests that the words we choose when we apologize can signal how much effort we're putting into making amends, and that perceived effort has a big impact. Here to explain what makes an apology sound authentic is Shiri Lev-Ari, an associate professor in psychology at Royal Holloway, University of London."
"And I came to apologies because I find apologies quite interesting and bizarre. They're something that is called cheap talk because anyone can apologize, whether or not they mean itit costs them nothingso you think they'd be meaningless, but they're really meaningful. So I was kind of interested in trying to think [about] what people do to the language to really help convince the other person that they really mean their apology."
Specific word choices in apologies change observers' perceptions of sincerity by signaling the apologizer's level of effort. Language that uses concrete descriptions, mentions reparative behaviors, or commits to future corrective actions conveys greater investment and earns more forgiveness than vague or generic apologies. The communicative principle of iconicity links linguistic form to perceived effort: more iconically structured phrases map onto more effortful actions. Experimental comparisons show that perceived effort mediates the effect of wording on judgments of authenticity and willingness to reconcile. Emphasizing measurable actions and costly concessions strengthens apology credibility across interpersonal and public settings.
Read at www.scientificamerican.com
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