"When a relationship ends despite your best efforts to make it work, you might think "I just wanted to be loved." Perhaps you even convince yourself that you're not meant for the love you're seeking. You may even start to feel that relationships never work out for you, and no matter how much you pour into them, you always come out empty-handed."
"Emotional intensity in dysfunctional relationships manifests as extreme lows followed by extreme highs. You may experience intense feelings and a preoccupation with your partner that borders on obsession, or may be drawn to partners who feel this way about you. In such a dynamic, every fight threatens to break your relationship, shake your foundation and make you question your self-worth, but every make-up comes with the certainty of forever - a mindset where you believe love will win it all no matter how hard it gets."
Repeated relationship failures often stem from replaying childhood relational patterns that mistake familiar pain for love. Individuals may believe they are unworthy of healthy love, yet persistent outcomes reflect learned dynamics rather than personal deficiency. One common misread is equating emotional intensity with passion: cycles of extreme lows and highs, obsessive preoccupation, and make-ups promising permanence create instability and constant damage control. Such dynamics undermine safety, acceptance, and unconditional validation. People with anxious attachment are especially vulnerable, as inconsistency amplifies longing and fosters mistaking unpredictability for love.
Read at Psychology Today
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