"In a recent study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers tracked over 3,000 people to understand why they seek love. They found that the love that thrives aligns with intrinsic motivation and identified regulation - genuine, internalized reasons for pursuing a relationship. Individuals with autonomous motivation were more likely to develop and maintain long-term romantic relationships. It was less a matter of obligation and more one of genuine concern for their partner's happiness."
"Unconditional love has no strings attached. When your partner loves without expectation, they don't place demands or issue ultimatums. They love you without exception. Their love is predictable, and it's not rooted in a fear of rejection, societal expectation, or insecurity. When love is unconditional, these three signs are usually present. 1. They Love You As You Are Right Now When your partner loves you unconditionally, they love the version of you that's right in front of them. There's no secretly hoping that you'll change with time, no ideal version they're waiting on."
People who pursue relationships for intrinsic, internalized reasons and identified regulation are likelier to form and sustain long-term romantic bonds. Autonomous motivation prioritizes genuine concern for a partner's happiness rather than obligation or external pressure. Unconditional love manifests as loving without demands, ultimatums, or expectations, with predictability and absence of fear-driven motives. One sign is loving a partner as they are now, without waiting for them to change. Maladaptive beliefs formed from indulgent parenting or enmeshed family identities can foster perceptions of partners as entitled or controlling, increasing feelings of romantic disillusionment.
Read at Psychology Today
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