"Some people ignore the rules and don't pay attention to the limits that others set on their behavior (we think of them as high-conflict people or HCPs or bullies) unless a meaningful consequence will follow if they violate the limit. HCPs often (but not always) have Cluster B personality disorders- narcissistic, borderline, antisocial and histrionic personalities-which studies show have a strong association with being domineering, vindictive, and intrusive. 1"
"Without a consequence, this behavior may just keep on going. However, if you mention a consequence that you are ready to impose, then it might go like this: YOU: Actually, if you continue to speak this way, I am going to end this conversation. It's up to you.THEM: Well, I don't care. I'm going to talk any way I want and you can't stop me.YOU: I see you have chosen to end this conversation. Goodbye. Then you hang up or walk away."
Setting explicit limits and following through with reasonable, meaningful consequences prevents repeated disrespectful or intrusive behavior. High-conflict people (HCPs) often ignore boundaries unless consequences are imposed; HCPs are frequently associated with Cluster B personality patterns such as narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, and histrionic traits. Stating a consequence in advance and then enforcing it immediately protects personal safety and models expectations for future interactions. Repetition of consistent limits and consequences reinforces behavior change and can transform recurring conflict into cooperation. Practicing both limit-setting and consequence-imposition builds durable protection and influence in relationships and communities.
Read at Psychology Today
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