"I don't. And that's exactly why I stopped. Rewind the clock 15 years. When an event planner gave us a truly ridiculous quote for a small wedding, my partner and I booked a flight to Las Vegas the very next day. We were married before noon at the Little Chapel of Flowers. No drama. No chair covers. Just vows and relief. It was a very good day."
"Over these 15 years of marriage, and more than 25 years as a therapist, I've come to deeply respect the brilliance of Mother Nature. When we "hit it off" with someone and fall in love, we're usually operating in a state called limerence. I affectionately refer to this as the carnival-and-cotton-candy phase, when your partner can do no wrong, your brain is bathed in feel-good chemicals, and life feels sparkly."
A couple eloped to Las Vegas after rejecting an expensive wedding quote and married quickly at the Little Chapel of Flowers. They planned a big celebration only if they reached twenty years; the marriage reached fifteen years. Long-term observation from decades in therapy identifies limerence as an early, euphoric, drug-like state marked by idealization and feel-good brain chemicals. Limerence naturally fades, often accelerated by children and shared responsibilities. The same partner who once offered effusive reassurance later offers pragmatic prompts to continue self-work. Long-term relationships therefore transition from intoxicating infatuation to steadier, pragmatic forms of care.
Read at Psychology Today
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