"The five apology languages were coined by Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, andclinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Thomas, Chapman's co-author of The 5 Apology Languages. In the same way that love languages are meant to describe how a person might recognize love when it's given to them, apology languages can help partners understand what it is about an apology that makes it feel genuine to the person they love."
"The five apology languages are: Expressing regret, which sounds like "I'm sorry." Accepting responsibility - think, "I was wrong." Making restitution, which sounds like "How can I make things right?" Genuine repentance, which means sharing a plan to change and not repeat the offense. Requesting forgiveness - this one's pretty straightforward."
"Thomas says when she brings up apology languages with her clients, they often have an ah-ha moment and realize why some apologies may have fallen flat for them in the past. "They feel really validated about why they don't feel completely satisfied by an apology. From the perspective of therapy, apologies are also seen as relationship repairs. Of course, different people and different relationships require different ways of apologizing to be able to successfully repair the relationship," she says."
The five apology languages define ways people experience apologies: expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, genuine repentance, and requesting forgiveness. Expressing regret uses direct apologies like "I'm sorry." Accepting responsibility involves acknowledging wrongdoing with statements such as "I was wrong." Making restitution focuses on repair by asking how to make things right. Genuine repentance includes a concrete plan to change behavior and avoid repeating the offense. Requesting forgiveness explicitly asks the injured person to forgive. People can have more than one apology language, and recognizing these differences supports effective relationship repair.
Read at Scary Mommy
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