"I told my goddaughter I would contribute $500 to the wedding dress. She picked out a dress without consulting me that cost nearly 10 times that much and sent me a picture of the receipts. She said she had heard that I would pay for all of the dress. Her mother got involved and it ended up a huge mess."
"You might tell them, It seems there was some miscommunication about the dress, and I don't want that to get between us. Can you tell me what you thought I was going to do, so I can understand? This might give you insight or it might give the same impression that the situation is giving now: that they're being ungrateful and unreasonable. If it's the latter, maybe this relationship has run its course."
A godparent offered $500 toward a wedding dress but the goddaughter selected a dress costing nearly ten times that amount and conveyed that the godparent would cover the full cost. The godparent, pressured by family, sent $1,500 and then withdrew plans to travel 17 hours, stay in a hotel, or send a gift; the goddaughter stopped speaking to the godparent and the mother did not acknowledge a thank-you. Advice recommends attempting a calm reset with the parents to clarify expectations; the exchange may reveal miscommunication or show the relationship is no longer mutually respectful. A second letter involves a disabled spouse who needed her mobility device handled; a family friend ignored parking instructions, prompting the spouse to feel intimidated and exit the car.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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