"Retirement has been a longtime dream as you've endured long commutes, office politics, and not enough time with each other. You've dreamed of lovely, unstructured days together-lingering over coffee in the morning, enjoying day trips and maybe exotic travels, rediscovering the fun of your courtship. But now retirement is here, and the dream has become something of a nightmare or, at best, underwhelming."
"But then I reminded myself that while I married him for life, I didn't marry him for lunch. I can really do without him sitting, watching golf on television, and telling me how I can vacuum or load the dishwasher more efficiently. I want to see friends on my own as well as together and to do things that he has no interest in."
Retirement often brings a mismatch between dreamed unstructured days and lived reality, leaving many couples surprised and disappointed. Careful financial and lifestyle planning does not prevent emotional and relational stressors that can strain partnerships. Common stressors include excessive togetherness, differing views on aging, financial anxiety, relocation regret, mismatched social needs, and unexpected health changes. Persistent close contact can generate resentment when partners have different interests or need individual social lives. Effective responses include open communication about shared and separate interests, allowing personal space, and seeking varied sources of help such as counseling, social groups, or practical support.
Read at Psychology Today
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