"He would initiate a verbal confrontation with Andrew and say things like, You are not my son. Later, he'd clarify that he meant Andrew doesn't act like his older brother does. Another example: You didn't call me last week, so I'm not going to help you out today. The one blessing is that both boys love each other. I believe children should know they are loved by their parents. They should not have to continually prove they are worthy of their parent's love."
"Your ex-husband engineered the estrangement, and nothing you or Andrew can do will fix it. You didn't mention how Andrew's lack of a healthy relationship with his father has affected him. Was the therapy that was tried family therapy? Marriage counseling for you and your ex? Individual therapy for your son? It's possible that a licensed mental health professional might help Andrew come to terms with the years of emotional neglect he has suffered, but only if he agrees he needs it."
Two college-educated sons are described as smart, kind, hardworking and independent. The younger son, Andrew, faced repeated verbal confrontations and conditional support from his father, which led to estrangement. The father told Andrew "You are not my son" and withheld help as punishment, undermining unconditional parental love. Both sons maintain a loving relationship with each other. Andrew underwent emergency surgery and received no check-in from his father. Therapy has been attempted. A licensed mental health professional could help Andrew process years of emotional neglect, but improvement is possible only if Andrew consents to participate in treatment.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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