One family is coping with a husband who drinks a fifth of vodka every two days, falls frequently and cannot access needed surgery because of alcohol use. The sister-in-law buys him liquor to prevent him from driving, has consulted doctors, friends, family, priest and rehab facilities, and is worn down by caregiving. A medical facility that treats both medical needs and addiction is needed. SMART Recovery's Family & Friends meetings are recommended as an alternative to Al-Anon, with resources at smartrecovery.org/family. Another correspondent is a 60-year-old retired woman frustrated that friends dominate conversations and rarely reciprocate interest.
Being drunk all the time (he consumes a fifth of vodka every two days) also prevents him from getting the surgery he needs. My SIL buys his liquor for him. She says if she doesn't, he will drive himself, endangering others. She has tried talking with his doctors, friends, family, priest and rehab facilities. He won't listen to anybody's advice. Taking care of him is wearing her down. He needs a medical facility that also treats addiction.
Your sister-in-law definitely could use some help. While I have mentioned AA and Al-Anon often in my column, another support resource I have heard good things about is called SMART Recovery. It is a space where loved ones of those who are struggling with addiction can find understanding, support and a plan to regain control of their own lives. She can locate a Family & Friends meeting by visiting smartrecovery.org/family. If she gives it a try, she may feel more comfortable there.
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