Harriette Cole: My kids are starting to notice their cousins get treated better

"My parents are playing favorites with their grandchildren, and it's becoming more obvious. My kids are starting to notice, and it absolutely breaks my heart. For example, my mom buys my sister's children much more expensive gifts for birthdays and holidays, while my kids get smaller or less thoughtful presents. She also often invites my sister's kids out to lunches, special outings or shopping trips, but rarely includes mine."

"DEAR PLAYING FAVORITES: You should speak to your parents and point out your concerns. Tell them that your children have noticed that their grandparents do not treat all of the grandchildren the same, and their feelings are hurt. Ask them to be more mindful of how they treat all the children. Be prepared to distract your children from their grandparents' favoritism, though, as you have no control over it."

Grandparents are showing clear favoritism toward one sibling’s children through expensive gifts and exclusive outings, and the other children have begun to notice and feel hurt. The concerned parent fears creating family conflict but worries about the emotional impact on their kids and contemplates confronting the grandparents. Recommended action is to speak with the grandparents, explain that the grandchildren’s feelings are hurt, and ask them to be more mindful of equal treatment. Parents should also prepare to distract and reassure their children, since grandparents’ behaviors ultimately remain outside parental control. Another correspondent expresses a desire to leave corporate finance to start a business but feels uncertain about ideas, funding, logistics, and leaving stable employment.

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