Harriette Cole: Now that I've proposed, I'm getting worried about marrying her
Briefly

One writer is newly engaged after nearly three years together and feels deep love while noting that friends and family often disapprove, describing the fiancee as unfriendly, territorial, and unwelcoming. Wedding planning has triggered slight cold feet and concerns about partner relationships with the writer's village. Premarital counseling with a therapist can help. Partners should be open and honest about hopes, dreams, loves, and concerns, outline a shared vision that includes family and friends, and use sessions to assess long-term compatibility. Another writer received a higher-salary job offer but faces a counteroffer despite disliking the current role.
I love her dearly, so naturally a proposal felt like the next step. If I'm being honest, though, a lot of my friends and a few family members have not always been big fans of my fiancee. Some of them feel that she is not friendly or welcoming and think that she's too territorial. They worry that because this is my first relationship, perhaps I'm just excited about having someone. Now that we are in full wedding planning mode, I'm getting a little worried.
Recommend that you two go to a therapist to talk through your hopes and dreams for the future. Be open and honest in the conversation with the therapist. Share what you love about your fiancee and what concerns you. Outline your vision of the future and how it includes family and friends, and gain insight from her as to how she feels about that. The more open you can be during these sessions, the better you will both be able to assess your long-term compatibility.
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