The real reason your aging mother insists on sending you home with food every time you visit isn't habit - those containers are the only thing she can still give you that you'll actually accept and every one you return empty is proof she's still needed - Silicon Canals

"It wasn't until I was halfway home that it hit me. Those containers weren't just food. They were her way of still being my mother in a world where I no longer need her to tie my shoes, check my homework, or remind me to wear a jacket. They were proof that she still has something to offer, something I'll accept without protest or polite deflection."

"The currency of care has changed Think about the last time you visited your parents. Did you leave with food? A bag of groceries you "might need"? Some fruit that was "on sale"? If you're nodding, you're not alone. This ritual plays out in millions of homes every week, and it's about so much more than leftovers. When we become adults, the dynamic with our parents shifts dramatically. We don't need them to solve our problems anymore."

"Every Sunday when we talk, I find myself explaining tech industry news to her, reversing our old teacher-student dynamic. She still sends me articles about "promising careers in healthcare," but we both know I'm not changing course. This reversal can be devastating for parents. They've spent decades being needed, being the problem-solvers, the providers, the ones with answers. Now their children have their own answers, their own money, their own lives."

A mother packs leftover pot roast and apple crisp into multiple containers and urges their return. Those containers act as evidence of ongoing parental care and a way to remain useful. When children reach adulthood, roles shift and parents often lose their identity as primary problem-solvers and providers. Food and small gifts become a primary means to offer care and maintain connection. The ritual of sending home groceries or prepared food appears in many households and carries emotional significance beyond nourishment. The change can feel devastating for parents as they confront reduced necessity and search for new ways to contribute.

Read at Silicon Canals