"Tell your husband. He probably won't enjoy hearing this news, but it would be strange-and probably weigh heavily on you-to keep it a secret from him. And openness with your spouse is more important than secret-keeping for your mother-in-law. Then let him decide whether to tell his dad. He'll have to consider all the usual things, like whether your father-in-law is likely to accept the information or explain it away and whether this is the right moment, given his delicate health."
"While on my way to the museum's cafe for lunch, I saw something shocking in one of the galleries. Dear Mendacious, I caught my mother-in-law "Belinda" and a man who was definitely not my FIL sitting on a bench kissing. I turned and tried to leave, but she saw me. Belinda caught up with me and begged me not to say anything. My FIL has health issues, so I reluctantly agreed, but I feel horrible. My FIL is a kind, wonderful man"
A conservator witnessed her mother-in-law, Belinda, kissing another man in a museum gallery and reluctantly agreed to keep it secret because of the father-in-law's health. The secret is causing guilt and preventing discussion with her husband. The advised course is to inform the husband and allow him to decide whether to tell his father, weighing the father's likely reaction and fragile health. Keeping the secret creates an unfair burden on the conservator. Deception chosen in one marriage does not obligate deceptive silence in another marriage.
Read at Slate Magazine
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