"I've been dating a great guy, "Max," for about a year. Not too long after we met (we weren't dating then), we started talking about family, siblings, etc. I mentioned I'd had a sister who died at a young age in a car accident. He said he'd lost a brother, "John," the same way. It bonded us in a way, and it wasn't long after that talk that we began dating."
"It was an OD. Apparently John OD'd when he was 18. This isn't something I'd mind or find shameful. I know some addicts, and they are good people. It is the addiction that is bad. What I don't understand is why Max lied to me. I can see lying to a stranger. I don't like people in my personal business anymore than Max does. But why lie to a friend? And to keep the lie going with a girlfriend who is going to find out?"
A woman dated Max for about a year after bonding over stories of lost siblings; she had lost a sister in a car accident and Max said he'd lost a brother, John, the same way. During a visit to Max's family she learned from his sister that John actually died of a drug overdose at 18, not a car accident. She feels betrayed and puzzled by Max's apparent lie. Recommended actions include confronting Max calmly, stating what was learned, asking why he lied, listening without accusation, and evaluating trust and motives before deciding whether to forgive.
Read at Slate Magazine
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