"I'm glad you're both willing to get tested, and I strongly encourage you both to do so! STIs can be transmitted orally and anally as well as through PIV sex, so you should know and talk about your health status no matter what you're doing. Many clinics offer free or reduced-rate STI panels, no appointment needed. (FYI, some STIs, like herpes and HPV, can be difficult to detect with only a swab test. I did not go to medical school, so please chat about this with a doctor, not your friendly local advice columnist.)"
"Even if you get tested, though, it doesn't seem like you (plural) want to get pregnant right now, so you (plural) still require a condom to have PIV sex. That is non-negotiable. He needs to understand this. You do not need to go on birth control medication, get an IUD, or use any other birth control method that you are not 100% comfortable with."
"You aren't doomed, but you're both likely to be a bit frustrated, at least at some point. That's OK, it happens. You can still make this work as long as you're open to getting creative. In fact, if you come in with the right mindset, this might be a bonding experience."
Condoms are required for penile-vaginal sex when pregnancy is undesired, and partners should not pressure each other to forgo them. Both partners should get comprehensive STI testing and discuss sexual health status; clinics often offer low-cost or no-appointment testing. Some infections, such as herpes and HPV, can be hard to detect with swab tests, so consult a doctor for complete information. Sexual difficulty with condoms can cause frustration but can be addressed creatively and may strengthen the relationship if both partners collaborate. No one should feel coerced into alternative contraceptives unless they are fully comfortable.
Read at Bustle
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