"A man was waiting for the elevator in the lobby, and greeted me with a pat on the back and a side hug. I figured I had met him before and engaged in polite chitchat for the short ride. He followed me to my apartment, and when we got there, I pulled off my hat, and he looked right at me, and we both realized he had mistaken me for my husband."
"It took me a lot to get through all that conditioning, and so, while I am openly gay, I still struggle with feelings of guilt and shame around sex. When I feel stress, of any kind, the first thing to tank is my ability to have sex. I suddenly just can't fathom the idea of all the physical effort, cleanup, and mental soothing I need to remind myself that I'm not going to hell for wanting it/doing it."
"Before he stopped asking, I used to turn him down all the time for many reasons, though my main excuse was general stress. Two years after we met (one year after we married), my mother was diagnosed with dementia, then my father, and then my husband's father. We adopted two kids, and both of us advanced to bigger and harder jobs. While he made it clear that he loved and missed sex,"
A woman returned home unexpectedly and discovered a man who had mistaken her for her husband; that man turned out to be an erotic masseur her husband sees about twice yearly for five to six years. She has not confronted her husband and is explaining why she delays doing so. She and her husband have been together 11 years with two children. She was raised Catholic and still carries guilt and shame about sex, and stress often eliminates her sexual desire. Over the years caregiving and career demands reduced intimacy to a few encounters.
Read at Slate Magazine
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