The letter highlights a gay man's concern after discovering a Fleshlight in his husband's drawer. He fears this implies inadequacy in their relationship or unmet needs. The response emphasizes the normality of self-pleasure and the notion that seeking additional sources of pleasure, such as masturbation with a toy, does not imply dissatisfaction with a partner. It suggests that variety and novelty are natural desires, and as long as the relationship remains fulfilling, these explorations can coexist with a healthy sexual life.
If you are indeed in a monogamous relationship, and I assume so given your reaction to your husband having sex with an inanimate object, maybe all he wants is some variety.
People seek pleasure from sources other than their primary partner for a number of reasons. Yeah, it may have something to do with dissatisfaction, but it just as easily might not.
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