"I'd been curious about anal play since my early twenties. Alone in my apartment, I ordered a small butt plug online; it was made of hard plastic, bullet-shaped, not particularly forgiving. Trying it wasn't about wanting men; it was about exploring a part of my own body that most men ignore. With enough lube and patience, I learned to enjoy the pressure against my prostate, lighting up nerves I didn't know I had, and unlocked a different kind of orgasm."
"She had experience with women, and when she saw my rigid toy, she immediately dismissed it: That's not what you want. She suggested something softer, silicone with some give. The problem wasn't just the toy, though. We rushed in. One night, a few months into dating, she strapped into a black harness with a dildo and moved in behind me. I hadn't been warmed up enough. She pushed too quickly. My body locked up. Within minutes I was in pain; ripped, bleeding, humiliated."
David, a 40-year-old professor, had been curious about anal play since his early twenties and experimented privately with a hard plastic butt plug that stimulated his prostate and produced different orgasms. In his early thirties he tried pegging with a partner, but the encounter went badly: an unsuitable toy, rushed penetration, and insufficient warm-up caused pain, tearing, bleeding, hemorrhoids and fissures. The experience left him humiliated and reliant on his partner to check injuries. The combination of physical harm and emotional vulnerability shaped his understanding of submission, surrender, and sexual exploration.
Read at www.esquire.com
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