"Let's start here: "Closure" is not what is achieved by sleeping with your high school boyfriend (or making out with him, for that matter). "Closure"-if such a thing exists (I have my doubts, but that's another subject)-is what happens after you both talk frankly and openly about what happened and how you felt, and you both come to accept that what happened, happened and is over and done with."
"Or you did that, 16 years ago, when he first reached out via Facebook, and since then you've been talking/messaging/whatever else you've done that didn't include meeting in person, moving on from that first conversation in which you straightened things out. Or (I can't tell from your letter) you had that clarifying exchange 16 years ago, you both expressed regrets, and then you didn't communicate again until recently, when you saw each other IRL and that old attraction rebloomed."
Closure is not achieved by resuming physical intimacy with a former partner. Closure occurs when both people talk frankly and openly about what happened, acknowledge feelings, and accept that the event is over. One person involved already engaged in a clarifying exchange years ago when the ex reached out on Facebook. Reuniting in person can reignite old attraction, especially when one or both partners are unhappily married. Emotional reconciliation does not require or justify infidelity. The prudent course is to pursue honest conversation and mutual acceptance rather than a sexual encounter for the illusion of closure.
Read at Slate Magazine
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