My Mother-in-Law's Outrageous Restaurant Behavior Goes Against My Moral Code. Time Is Running Out for Me to Say Something.

"Before the baby comes, I've been trying to spend more time with his mother so we can bond and get to know each other better. On more than one occasion we've gone out to eat together and she's complained about the meal. Sometimes she'll send her order back or get it removed from the bill. While this makes me uncomfortable, I've never said anything to her about it because she usually pays."

"Sending back a meal or two is one thing, but it sounds like this situation is getting a little out of hand. Your boyfriend's mom might have her reasons. Maybe she's trying to get a freebie. Maybe it's a control thing. Or maybe she genuinely believes she's been wronged. Whatever the reason, you're worried that she's manipulating the situation, and that's not unreasonable."

An expectant partner worries after repeatedly witnessing her boyfriend's mother complain about restaurant meals, sometimes sending dishes back or having items removed from the bill. On multiple occasions the mother later reported feeling ill, called the restaurant to complain, or contacted her credit card company to cancel payments and received refunds. The partner feels mortified and concerned about the behavior modeling to the future child. The response acknowledges that occasional returns are reasonable but that repeated charge disputes can indicate manipulation, control seeking, or a genuine belief of being wronged, and recommends recognizing limits on controlling others while preparing to set boundaries and explain values to the child.

Read at Slate Magazine