Tanya Sweeney: If having a boyfriend is no longer Insta cool, is it finally OK to be a happily single independent woman?

""Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?" read one of its recent headlines, and there's no denying that, as headlines go, it caught the eye. The magazine, and its author, Chanté Joseph, knew full well what they were doing when they posited their argument: for many women, being seen to be defined by a partner, as opposed to on one's own terms, is not the flex you think it is."

"We are living in an era where individuality and self-reliance are big noise, so to be visibly partnered - to show off one's boyfriend on Instagram, for instance - is what the cool kids call 'normie' behaviour. It's not that Joseph feels that relationships, or even boyfriends, are inherently bad. Rather, defining yourself according to your relationship status is no longer cool."

Being defined by a romantic partner is increasingly viewed as dated and socially disadvantageous. Visibility of partnerships on social media is read as conformity rather than individuality, with public displays of boyfriends labeled as 'normie' behavior. Cultural emphasis on individuality and self-reliance elevates solo identity expression over coupling as a primary marker. Some influencers lost significant followers after publicly launching relationships, demonstrating tangible reputational and engagement costs. Relationships themselves are not inherently condemned, but centering identity on relationship status has become a social liability in contemporary influencer and youth culture.

Read at Independent