"it requires that I trawl through memories that aren't mine, or shared memories that are painful for one reason or another. But my mother is no longer able to make these decisions herself, about which of her possessions are worth keeping hold of and which should be discarded, either for practical reasons of space or necessity or because a continued attachment to the stories behind them might do more harm"
"Photographs form a large part of the source material. There are hundreds of them, spilling from tattered envelopes and pasted into leatherette-bound albums, or framed in torn cardboard or peeling gilt. Among them are faces I haven't seen in years, faces I'd sooner forget, faces that hint at a family history that extends back further than my own experience. Ghosts benign and malicious, ancestors in the uniforms of war, correspondents from foreign lands whose lessons went unheeded."
My mother moved into a nursing home after Alzheimer's progressed to the point that she needs round-the-clock care. I am responsible for emptying the house where she lived for more than fifty years, choosing which possessions to keep and which to discard. The task forces me to confront shared and private memories, many of them painful. Photographs are abundant and reveal relatives, past conflicts, and untold family history. Sorting possessions feels like curating a life story and making decisions that balance practical space concerns with the emotional risks of preserving attachments to damaging memories.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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