A girl seeking to sit with boys on a subway triggers mockery and shame aimed at enforcing gender expectations. Similar gender-based aggression appears in childhood, such as a boy pushing a girl while declaring dislike of girls. Adults often minimize these behaviors as harmless, using phrases like “boys will be boys,” which allows gender policing to persist. Misogyny can function as a rehearsal of patriarchal power through small, ordinary acts of dominance, othering, and norm enforcement. When these attitudes and behaviors are not named, children adopt and enact them, creating an environment that supports inequality and dehumanization.
"For a moment, this seemed unremarkable (the endearing character Anybodys from West Side Story comes to mind). Then one boy mockingly dared the other boys to sit next to her. The mood shifted from playfulness to shame. Shame directed at the girl for deviating from social expectations ( You're out of line!) and shame threatening any boy who risked joining her ( Don't you dare give up your power!)."
"Many adults continue to dismiss such cruel acts of social policing as "child's play." "Boys will be boys," an educated and equality-minded friend of mine said recently, throwing up her arms in resignation as she recounted her nephews teasing one another to tears. Sociologist Cynthia Miller-Idriss, however, offers a more precise explanation for these behaviors: a proactive reassertion of patriarchal power."
"In her new book Man Up: The New Misogyny and the Rise of Violent Extremism, Miller-Idriss effectively argues how patriarchy rehearses itself in everyday life through tiny, ordinary performances of dominance, othering, and policing of gender norms. And when we fail to identify these misogynistic attitudes and behaviors, as we often do, they become adopted and enacted by our kids."
Read at Psychology Today
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