Oisin Murphy: I found escapism but also an awful lot of trouble in the bottle'

"It was incredibly significant because I never thought I'd get to 30, Murphy says, as he uses a smouldering cigarillo to light another in an unbroken chain stretching across this corner of Lambourn. They call it the Valley of the Racehorse and, on a Monday morning, mist hangs over the village in the same way that Murphy is enveloped in a cloud of smoke. I never had any plans past 30, he says amid a fresh puff."

"It wasn't quite that morbid but all the time you have targets: I want to win this race, I want to win this championship, I want my own house.' I never made any targets past 30. That's another thing getting to 30. Lots of people are in serious relationships and beginning to have children. Maybe I'm selfish. I was in a very serious relationship with a beautiful girl and a lovely person, Elizabeth Nielsen."

"Most of my ex-girlfriends I've remained friendly with, which is great. I never feel like the reason those relationships ceased was because of them. It was because of me. Is he close to finding new targets for himself? It's very different now. Every day I have to work at being sober and it's going well. But I've had good periods in the past In late April he was driving at night when, with a passenger alongside him, he crashed into a tree."

Oisin Murphy turned 30 and kept birthday cards displayed for over a month, feeling he never expected to reach that age. He struggles daily with alcoholism and experienced a near-catastrophic return to drinking this summer. He anticipates guilt about walking a guard of honour for his fifth champion jockeys' title at Ascot. He ended a serious relationship with Elizabeth Nielsen earlier this year but remains close friends. He states daily work on sobriety is going well. He crashed his car into a tree in late April while driving at night with a passenger.

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