A stranger's compliment helped her feel confident after chemo

Pat Gentile was diagnosed with breast cancer in her late 50s and lost her hair during chemotherapy. She wore a wig, but it was itchy and annoying, so she eventually switched to a crew cut look and stopped wearing the wig. Driving to work without it made her feel exposed, and she worried about receiving pity from others. While shopping for coffee and lunch, a woman told her, “Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. You look fabulous.” Gentile felt seen and normal, which gave her courage to get started. She donated the wig, completed chemotherapy, and has had no evidence of cancer since 2011, crediting the encounter with inspiring her to be kinder to others.

"During chemotherapy, she lost all her hair, so she began to wear a wig. "But that wig and I only had one wig that wig was itchy, and it was annoying," Gentile said. "So at some point, I decided when I sort of had a crew cut look that it was time to give the wig up." Her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed."

"As she shopped through the aisles, a woman approached her. Fifteen years later, Gentile still remembers what the woman said. "She said, 'Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. You look fabulous.'" Gentile was stunned. She managed to say, "Thank you," before the woman walked away. Then she went back to her car, letting the words settle."

""I sat there for a while, sort of embracing this wonderful, kind thing that this person had said to me," Gentile said. "And it really made a turning point for me that made me feel seen, made me feel normal and gave me the courage to get to work and just get started." Gentile donated the wig and never looked back."

"Thinking back to that encounter, she credits the woman's kindness as a turning point. She says it inspires her to see other people the way that stranger saw her and to acknowledge what they might be going through. "I think about this woman a lot. I still see her in my mind's eye. I only saw her for a few seconds, but she made such an impression on me that I'm kinder because of her. So I'm very grateful.""

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