"It's $2.13 an hour plus tips. $7 an hour when you're working the bar. Plus, you don't have to fold napkins and silverware. The job's yours, if you want it." I nodded quickly. "Yes, I do," I said, rising from my seat. The woman interviewing me smiled crookedly, told me to wear all black, and said I could start on Tuesday.
Most people think the hardest part of a mental health crisis is the illness itself. In my case that would entail the acute experience of psychotic depression. And it is often true that acute mental ill health is extraordinarily disorienting and frightening. I wouldn't wish my previous symptoms of psychotic depression on anyone and they have been the hardest experience of my life.
John Kline is a good friend of mine, who I met through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Connection Support Group program. We've been facilitating a local NAMI support group together for years. He has a captivating story of experiencing Bipolar I, psychotic breaks, and what emotional recovery looks like. He also tells the story of his prolific career as a paramedic, and how his experience of bipolar shaped his career and his personal life.
"I don't know how permanent, or, you know, I don't know how long it's gonna be," he said. "I'm just embracing the 'I don't know,' and also staying open for discovery. I think that's what this part of my life is about, being open to discover what's next and really, really, really do my best at being present in every place I go with every person I meet."